More Than 50 Christmas Jokes, Facts and Trivia
And… Who Is Santa Claus?
(PCM) Greek native, Nicholas, born a few hundred years after Jesus Christ, had prior to that led a very righteous life, helping many people, particularly by providing children with gold coins. Raised as a devout Christian, Nicholas took all of his wealth and, following the words of God, gave it to the poor and needy. It is known that he had a special love for helping the needy, children, and sailors.
Nicholas was sent to prison in the 4th century by the Roman Emperor Diocletian who persecuted the Christians while in reign. Nicholas was tortured in prison, but then released when Constantine became the new emperor. After moving to the Netherlands, he adopted the native language and was renamed Sinterklauss (Saint Nickolaas).
He continued helping children and was revered by many faiths including Catholics, Lutherans, Orthodox Christians and Anglicans, but some in the Protestant faith did not like the whole celebratory aspect regarding saints and outward celebrations like Christmas. Through this time, Nicholas apparently worked out of the mainstream until he later moved to the North Pole.
Author Washington Irving gave the first detailed information about St. Nick in 1809. Then, in 1823, Saint Nick was fully Americanized in the poem by Clement Clarke Moore, “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” now known as “The Night Before Christmas”. The first image of our modern Santa Claus was illustrated by Thomas Nast who drew full-bellied Santa for Christmas issues of Harper’s magazine in the late 1800’s.
Santa Claus, as we know him today, came from Clement C. Moore’s 1822 poem, “A Visit from St. Nicholas” (also commonly known as “The Night Before Christmas”). He was featured in many stories as short (like an elf), thin, spindly and tall enough to reach the top of Christmas Trees, and usually fat, and a smoker. Since there have been so few eyewitness accounts, noone was really sure what he looked like. Although Santa actually quit smoking in the 1930s, contractual obligations kept him in cigarette ads until the early 1950s.
Santa Claus, according to historians, has been living in the North Pole since at least the 1820s.
More Than 50 Christmas Jokes, Quotes, Facts and Trivia
What do penguins ride? . . . Ice-Cycles!
According to legend, “Good King Wenceslas” sleeps underneath a mountain in the Czech Republic with an army of knights and will return someday to save the realm from its “ultimate danger.”
Shopping malls all over the world are playing “All I want for Christmas is you” to encourage shoppers to buy stuff.
What do the reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday? . . . Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Nobody cares that receiving money for Christmas is essentially a regift. Send a fruitcake though and everyone loses their mind.
The 12 days of Christmas refers to the 12 days after Christmas, not the 12 days before Christmas.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? . . . Nothing, you just run away!
In 1914 during WW1 a Christmas Truce was called between Allied and German forces. They emerged from their trenches and shook hands, exchanged gifts, and even sang carols together before returning to battle against each other the following day.
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? . . . Lost!
Bob Hope spent 48 Christmases between 1941 and 1991 overseas entertaining American armed service personnel.
The famous dance troupe the Rockettes began in Missouri as the Rockets, before moving to NY’s Roxy Theatre and becoming the Roxyettes before finally moving to Radio City and becoming the Rockettes.
What do you call a snowman on roller blades? . . . Snow mobile!
Santa Claus, in the Marvel Comics Universe, is the most powerful mutant ever detected by Cerebro.
Prosthetic legs make perfect stocking stuffers.
What do you call the bells on Santa’s sleigh? . . . Kringle bells!
Giving someone a wrapped gift is really saying that you trust them enough to hand over your fingerprints on the tape.
What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney? . . . Pour Santa flush on him!
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? . . . Crisp Kringle!
Mariah Carey says she doesn’t want a lot for Christmas and then immediately follows up with wanting a human being.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? . . . Frostbite!
The plot for “Home Alone” is about a guy that gets left alone around Christmas time, and takes it upon himself to stop thieves from stealing stuff. This is the same plot for “Die Hard”.
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? . . . Ribbon hood!
They should sell roof gutters with LEDs built in so you don’t have to put up Christmas lights.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? . . . Santa Clues!
Elf on a Shelf is doing a lot to fix the bad reputation of haunted dolls.
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? . . . The letter “D”!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is just a story some guy made up to explain the blinking lights on airplanes. #myconspiracytheory
What goes Ho-Thud, Ho-Thud, Ho-Thud? . . . Santa Claus jumping rope!
When you see a couple kissing at the end of a Christmas movie, they are being covered in potato flakes (fake snow).
What happens when you drop a snowball into a glass of water? . . . It gets wet!
The traditional holiday plant highly regarded as extremely poisonous – Poinsettia – is not actually poisonous enough to kill a human or animal.
What is a skunk’s favorite holiday song? . . . Jingle Smells!
Regular trees are probably jealous of Christmas tree decorations.
The moral of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation is that no matter how bad things get in life money will always solve your problems.
What is black and white and found in the Sahara Desert? . . . A VERY lost penguin!
Christmas music is pretty much the same 10 songs sung differently by thousands of other people
I’d love to see Santa’s face checking his list when he reaches me.
What is black and white and green and black and white? . . . Two penguins fighting over a pickle!
New month resolutions would probably be better than New Year’s resolutions. #30daycommitment
You know what I can never recall? The other 8 reindeer.
What is claustrophobia? . . . Fear of Santa!
If you replace toys with dance, Footloose plagiarized the plot to Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
It should be told that Santa runs from house to house instead of flying to explain his uncanny ability to eat cookies.
What did Santa say when his toys misbehaved? . . . Toys will be toys!
“Yes! Yes I do! I like Christmas! I love Christmas!” – Ebenezer Scrooge
The first Christmas card sent was in 1843. In England, Henry Cole hired an artist to draw a picture of a family sitting around a dinner table. On the card, he wrote, “A merry Christmas and a happy New Year.”
One Christmas, Joe and Peter built a skating rink in the middle of a field. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn’t cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. ‘Look at that, ‘remarked Peter to Joe, ‘That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!’
“I don’t know. Not for sure. But I believe he is. You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren’t up there now, I don’t think it would be snowing. Sometimes… you can still catch me dancing in it.” – Kim Boggs #moviequotes
“Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?” – Lucy Van Pelt
My daughter-in-law asked my grandson if he had seen Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Little Jimmy said, “No, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toe on the sofa.”
“It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.” – Gonzo #moviequotes
Santa Claus Names From Around The World:
Père Noël in France
St. Nicholas (Sinter Klaas) in Holland
Jultomten – Sweden
Father Christmas in England
Christkind in Germany
Ded Moroz (Grandfather Frost) – Russia
Santa Kurohsu – Japan
Joulupukki (Old Man Christmas) – Finland
Sion Corn – Wales
Papai Noel Peru, Brazil
Gwiazdor (Star man) – Poland