(PCM) When Shakespeare penned Twelfth Night, he probably wasn’t referring to babies when he wrote “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.” But, hey, if the (baby) shoe fits…
Now, while babies are great in the ‘you’re-super-wonderful’ way, the greatness we’re referring to is power. Whether it’s in the real world or the entertainment one, we have certainly encountered some powerful tots. History even has a fair showing… just look to Mary, Queen of Scots who succeeded to the throne of Scotland at just 6 days old and was crowned queen at 9 months old. Sure, she may not have had a great life or a great reign, but there is no denying the baby was imbued with extraordinary power.
Not everyone is crowned queen before they celebrate their first birthday, but we’ve put together a list of other babes who have likewise had great power at such a young age. Whether they were born into it or had it thrust upon them, whether it’s magical powers or pure celebrity, these youngins may make you feel a bit inferior for playing with a rattle for hours and taking a couple months to start crawling.
Let’s kick off the list with those real life babies who have so much power no one even really knows what to do with it. Yeah, we’re talking about the celebrity tots. Now, that doesn’t just mean celebrities’ babies, it means babies who have a celebrity all of their own.
MARY-KATE & ASHLEY OLSEN
It’s hard to believe these mega-famous twins are now 26 years old considering their childhood was immortalized on film as they established their own empire in the entertainment industry. But even when they were just babies, they were thrust into the spotlight. When they began playing Michelle Tanner on Full House at just 9 months old, their worlds changed as they literally grew up on the screen before us continuing to portray the youngest of the Tanner family for the next 8 years. How would you like to be a superstar at the age of 1? And then, just as a testament to your power, remain a star for the rest of your life? There’s a reason we all own at least one (maybe all) MK&A movie.
BLUE IVY CARTER
When most celebrities have a baby, some magazine wants a picture. But when two megastars like Beyonce and Jay-Z have their first child together? Well it sort of seemed like the world stood still for a few seconds and then glazed over with a lovely shade of blue (or blue ivy… does anyone know if Crayola has started working on that color yet?). Born January 7, 2012, the 9-month old has already established herself as a forced to be reckoned with. She’s had an SNL spoof done about her, made a helicopter entrance into NYC, been named an honorary citizen of the Croatian town of Hvar and, oh yeah, became the youngest person ever to appear on a Billboard chart when her dad, Jay-Z, featured her cries on one of his singles. Anyone else feeling like a bit of an underachiever?
While it’s interesting to think about a celebrity baby, magical powers are just flat out more exciting. The supernatural trend has always been lingering around the world of entertainment, which means that there are certainly some little ones wielding some mighty power.
You had to know it was coming. Whether we’re talking the power to inspire an entire generation to get back to reading or the power to defeat the most powerful Dark Wizard of all time when he was just one year old (with, of course, the love and protection of his late mother), this list would be null and void if Harry Potter wasn’t included. He may not have exactly known his power or even known he was a wizard until he was 11 years old, but the power was there within him all along. After all, without his early tragedy and brush with power and the prophecy that was thrust upon him, he never would have defeated Lord Voldemort for good and earned his own name of power in the Wizarding World.
When Charmed started in the late 90s, we would have been hard pressed to think of someone more powerful than the Halliwell Sisters and their Power of Three. But then came Wyatt. Wyatt, son of witch Piper and whitelighter Leo, is not only the first male witch born into the Halliwell family in generations, but also the prophesied Twice-Blessed Child, you know, just the most magical being of all time. Add to that his whitelighter roots that allowed self-healing and orbing and the fact that he is also the true heir to the legendary Excalibur and this kid has got so much power he doesn’t know what to do with it all. Actually, those were some of our favorite Wyatt moments… when he would use his magic as a baby, protecting himself with a force field and occasionally causing some hiccups for his mom and aunts. Then again, he was able to make Piper indestructible during her pregnancy, so hopefully they called it a truce.
But not all powers are good and not all individuals – babies included – use their powers for good. Just like the rest of them, some are born into these evils and others have them thrust upon them, but just because they aren’t doing good doesn’t mean they aren’t some of the most powerful tots around.
Nothing quite says power like the Antichrist, right? Whether you believe in him or simply acknowledge the power of believing in him, you have to admit… Christ is a pretty powerful figure. So to be compared to him, even if it’s as his antithesis, that already sets you up with some pretty heavy powers. Mix in there that Damien, a character from The Omen series, embodies the feared notion of 666, being born at 6 AM on June 6 (the sixth hour of the sixth day of the sixth month, 666) and you’ve got a dangerous little man on your hands.
In The Omen series, Damien is adopted after his adoptive parents lose their child in a supposed stillbirth. Riiiiiight. His truly evil and powerful acts didn’t start until he was a few years old, but when you have a nanny who is actually a demon sent to guard you, again, clearly you’re important and quite powerful, perhaps even the single figure of concentrated evil like the Antichrist.
THE CHILDREN FROM THE VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED
Whatever film version you watch, the kids in it are not terrifying they are terrifyingly powerful. And they are certainly up to no good. It’s certainly not a good start when several women are mysteriously impregnated and end up giving birth on the same day to kids who look alarmingly similar and flat out alarming with cold eyes, platinum blond hair and pale skin. They also happen to grow at shocking speeds, making them technically babies, but far, far superior than even children a few years older.
To make the situation scarier, all these children share a telepathic bond with one another and a strange ability: when one learns something, they all do. While possibly not human, the children from The Village of the Damned personify and terrify us with the dangers of groupthink and the possibility of small children destroying the world.
The babies we’ve shown so far have all had some extraordinary powers, although we’re not entirely sure any of them had much choice in the matter. And, you know, baby Joe Schmo probably doesn’t stand much of a chance of having the same opportunities for power. But one type of power we can all utilize is knowledge. Sure, some children are prodigies and that’s its own kind of power, but there are also some tots out there who impress us with their normal intelligence for such a young age.
Easily one of the greatest cartoon characters of all time, Tommy Pickles is not just your average baby. Anyone who’s grown up with Rugrats will tell you that. No, Tommy may be young – even the youngest of the playpen group until Dil came along – but the boy is whip-smart and even more imaginative. Throw in his extraordinary level of bravery and there is no problem or situation that Tommy can’t get himself and his friends out of. Seriously, he can help you overcome fears and establish new rules all while wearing a t-shirt and diaper. As his motto goes, “a baby’s got to do, what a baby’s got to do!” Clearly the little dude with the plastic screwdriver deserves credit for his intelligence and the power – and freedom – that comes along with it all.
The E*TRADE baby ain’t just cute – he’s incredibly smart. I mean, seriously, does anyone actually know what this company does? The babe does and he clearly knows the ins and outs of the company and what it can do for us all. If you’re ever able to break away from the cuteness (and hilarity) of watching him speak, you may be stunned at the information and know-how that’s coming out of his mouth. Actually, that’s part of what adds to the hilarity. But he’s not just a one-trick pony. Sure, he knows a lot about E*TRADE and whatever that may entail, but the kid sleeps in a crib and can work an iPad. True, technology is reaching out to younger and younger individuals, but to get caught past your bedtime checking your account online? No, you’re still way ahead of the learning curve E*TRADE baby.
We’ve gone through a lot of different types of powers. But when you think of special powers, come on, admit it, you totally think of superpowers. We’re not hating – we do, too! And believe it or not, there are tiny tykes out there who save the day… one Mojo Jojo at a time…
THE POWERPUFF GIRLS
Okay, okay, maybe The Powerpuff Girls aren’t “babies,” but they’re only in preschool, they haven’t aged since they were created from sugar, spice, everything nice and Chemical X by the Professor and Bubbles still sleeps with Octi… so they totally count. And, honestly, they are some of the most powerful little girls across any medium. With the help of a supportive father figure in the way of the Professor and a handy telephone that connects them immediately with the Mayor’s Office, Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup are only ever just a second away from saving Townsville from imminent danger. With their superpowers of super speed, super strength, flight, x-ray vision, heat vision and more, I sure wouldn’t want to be on the Powerpuff Girls bad side whether it was the first day they were born or twenty years down the line, would you? And yet, they do it all while staying super sweet, super cute and maintaining a regular bedtime. Particularly impressive if you ask me.